It occurs to me, having had now a few hours of sleep, that as things change, I may always find them challenging. Last night, I read back to the days of my pregnancy and having the boys in the NICU, and thought that of course those times were pretty darned hard. I don't want to be the kind of person who is always talking about how hard it is... I mean, it sort of goes without saying, right? It's the nature of life, and all. People parent in all sorts of situations that challenge them to the core, and I'm just one of them. I'm dealing with lack of sleep, and some fussiness that is certainly within the realm of normal. Sure, that's hard to remain present to in the moment, but it's true, and I have to somehow honor people who are truly enduring hardship by rising to this task. Sisu, Tanja reminded me, is a quality to call upon: tenacity of purpose. Sisu helped me to persevere to become a mother, and it will help me also to be the kind of mother I want to be.
While I attend to my attitude, you can enjoy a couple of little videos I promised my parents I'd upload.
Max rolling over:
Shoghi & Max chatting it up:
you rule!
ReplyDeleteyou know what, this post has been resonating with me since i read it earlier...it's all hard, and wonderful and all that shit. it's ok to say it and write it and vent about it. no one is judging you here and i just want you to know that and hear that. we think you are wonderful, that's why we come here to see all your beautiful faces and read about your adventure...hang in there, mama...
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