To Do Some More

Now that I've officially completed my 26th week (yesterday), I'm feeling a little pressure to figure some things out... namely, the boys' names! Next Thursday marks the beginning of the third trimester, which means it's time to get busy! The clothes all need to be washed and organized, I have to strike some semblance of organization to my stuff that is still in boxes and now scattered between two houses, and I really must address the big decisions:

• Find a photographer
• Make schedule of visitors for post-birth
• Research pediatricians
• Finalize birth plans and back-up hospital team
• Get my teeth cleaned
• Make sure I have everything needed for at least the first 3 months (things I can anticipate needing, that is)
• Decide whether I want/ need a new camera
• Finish baby knits
  
• Make and freeze some meals
• Make arrangements for birth announcements
• Finish all work projects by end of August
• Figure out what to do about Bamboo Village Press for the summer/fall season.
  

No doubt there are 40 more things to add, but this is what comes to mind now.

I thought I'd share my short list of names... this has been HARD to generate, let me tell ya! There are a million beautiful and meaningful girl names that I've had on my list for years, but with boy names, somehow it seems much more challenging.

First Names in the Running

• Arjun (white, clear; hero from Mahabharatha)
• Aziz (beloved)
• Benjamin
• Isaac (he laughs)
• Maxwell (after W. Sutherland Maxwell)
• Oliver
• Njeru (wolf, after close friend)
• Noah (rest, comfort)
• Rowan (little red)
• Shoghi (after Shoghi Effendi)
• Sisu (tenacity of purpose)

Paired: Joseph/ Aaron (brother); Shoghi/ Maxwell

The Belly House

During the past week, I lost any arch in my back, and my ribs have definitely expanded... I think I'm going to have to get some new braziers. I'm not sure if you can see much difference between 24 week (brown shirt) and today (others), but I definitely feel one! Here's a smattering of pics for today.

"Let's call it Shirley"

Not that I should ever need a reminder to be in the moment and revel in the miracle that is this pregnancy, but that's just what I did need. Mary took the time to gently remind me of how I've yearned for being here, and I decided to take it to heart, in whatever way I can at any particular moment. Being pregnant and in transition (in more ways than one) is hard, but the challenge is readily accepted, and I wouldn't trade these aches and pains for the alternative.

It's just that a few days without sleep and with some pretty unignorable aches and pains will render even the most grateful person rather grouchy. Thinking that I have 3 more months of belly growth ahead is quite intimidating!

I'm feeling better today. Although I slept fitfully again, I did sleep, throughout the night and until 8:15, and it made a big difference in the day today. I also heeded feeling sleepy earlier than I am usually able, and rested from 1-3 this afternoon. Good thinking!

Thanks for the pep talk, Mary!

ps: 10 points if you can figure out the reference in the title... Laurie, I'll give it to you in advance, since I know you know!

25 Weeks, Part B

You know what they say about having nothing good to say, so I'll keep my typing fingers quiet and just post a photo from this morning, sans shower or hair styling.

25 week gripe

My blog post titles are getting so boring!

So, week 25 kicked my big, pregnant arse. I've started having pain in my mid back that, when unheeded, sends a constellation of referred pains out through my ribs and renders me speechless and triggers BH contractions. Not so much fun. It's happening more now, and daily, so it's forcing me to really reduce my time doing things like... sitting. I pretty much lost the entire week - work got put on hold, and almost all of my time not spent driving to appointments (or the beach, oops) has been spent sleeping or lying down.

I'm therefore about to turn over a new leaf, starting this weekend when I get to lounge around at K's house, or rather, in her big, glorious bathtub. I don't really plan on doing anything else besides eat, get a bunch of work done, and soak in the tub. On Tuesday, come hell or high water, I will make it to the prenatal class at the local pool. So, that's 4 out of 5 days coming that will each involve some level of weightlessness - let's hope it puts an end to this awful spasm.

Again on the physical level, I'm also now starting to enjoy some lax ligaments, which has resulted in near nightly slight dislocations of my right collarbone, since that's the side I sleep on. I can pop it back myself, but it's getting pretty sore.... like I needed another sleep discomfort!

What else happened this week? Well, I posted about out outings last Saturday, and Laurie covered our trip to the beach... in between those things, I've been sleeping. Today, I had a whole day of chores: I picked up my twin nursing pillow this morning, then had appointments with the midwives and my lovely chiropractor, where I also got to pick up my new temperpedic neck pillow.

The meeting with the midwives was cool. I didn't expect the three of them to all be there, but it was nice to meet them all again. Interestingly, this was the first time in all these weeks that a health care practitioner has actually put their hands on my belly to feel the babies - it was very satisfying and certainly makes it all feel much more... palpable that there are real babies growing in there. It grounded me in my belly, somehow. We got to listen to their perfect hearts beating and chat about how in the weeks to come their positions will become much more obvious as the space in there is diminished. My blood pressure is really, really good (low for me, yay!) at 110/72, and according to their scale, I actually lost a pound (boo!). They weren't concerned about that, since we're looking for a trend instead of specific numbers, but damn.... it seemed like another manifestation of this all-consuming exhaustion. All told, I've gained 28 pounds, so I'm projecting that my total weight gain for the pregnancy will be 40-50 pounds - hopefully on the high end. It's very strange to be aiming for that higher number!

Sorry there's no 25w photo today... we'll try to get one tomorrow. I am really just way too tired.

So to sum up: babies are great, mama is tired and sore, but healthy.

Two more weeks and I'll be in my third trimester! Now how do you like them apples?

borrowed from an email

It's Monday, and we've got ANOTHER day of full sun on tap (temps in the 70s) and it feels blissful! Over the weekend, (Friday) Laurie, Korin and I went out for Pho and then went to see Prince Caspian, then (Saturday) Laurie, Korin, Ruby and I went to the Rhododendron Garden, ate at a brilliant restaurant called Old Wives Tale, and then went to Mt. Tabor to hang out while Ruby played, then (Sunday) Laurie and I hung out here at Steve and Maria's, went to the Hillsdale Farmer's Market, made some Persian rice for lunch, and generally sat around and recovered from Saturday. Saturday was way too much for me, and I ended up having what I finally recognize to be Braxton Hicks contractions - a lot of them. The cure: lots of water and rest (duh).

Tracy commented in her blog that her twins are more active at the movies, and for sure, Zeus and Oden kicked and squirmed their way through Prince Caspian. Oden was also grooving to the beat last night while Maria played her banjo next to me out on the patio. It's so neat to feel them reacting to the environment!

Tomorrow I'm taking Laurie out to Cannon Beach and Oswald for her birthday - this will no doubt be my last road trip before the babies come.... indeed, my last trip until they're a few months old, when we fly back East to visit friends and family in MA and PA!


Last week, I busied myself with finding some of my "necessary" baby stuff on craigslist, etc. I scored a tandem nursing pillow for $20 (usually over $50), and then last night I won an eBay auction and got my stroller - the exact one I've been wanting. I paid under $300, while the new ones go for over $800! I also did some more splurgey buying, when I found these kimono shirts. In addition, I hit 2 consignment shops, where I scored a few super cute outfits. The sad thing is, I've paid less for brand new things when I find them on clearance... Portland has an enormous number of resale shops, but boy, the prices for used seem pretty high to me! What do I know, though... I'm still barely even a novice at this stuff!

I just spent this morning unpacking, cataloging and washing baby gear. I had no idea what I had already, so I took a cue from all the Virgos in my life and started a spreadsheet! I thought I had a ton of stuff, but now that it's all divvied up between the wee sizes between newborn and 12 months, I realize I will definitely need more stuff! Fortunately Amanda (who had her twin baby girls over the weekend!) sent me a spreadsheet of recommended gear for twin tots, so I'll have that to go on, at least.


I'm glad I started on this now, actually. This week, I'll get some big ziplock storage and divide up the things I have by size, and then pack it back in the box for the next move. I've got the time and energy to get this stuff done now, so I might as well take advantage. Besides, it makes the fact that I'm soon going to have my boys in my arms all that more real, which is so very exciting, I can barely stand it.

Six Months

A lot has changed in the past 24 weeks... starting of course with what may prove to be my last ever trip to a fertility clinic on cycle day 3... 12/31/07. There was doubt about the viability of this pregnancy (when my HcG numbers didn't double "properly") and the mystery of how many babies were growing in there (first ultrasound showed only one!). I've changed my professional work, completed my first year as an owner of a small business and charitable organization, packed my apartment and moved clear across the country. I've gone from someone who had been in state of longing for children since she was 17 and working in a Brazilian orphanage, to someone preparing to be the mother of two boys - all at once.

7 week ultrasound showing twins!

11 weeks pregnant

24 weeks pregnant - shirt no longer covers the belly!

Today marks the beginning of viability for the twins outside the womb. Don't get me wrong - I have every intention of keeping them in place for another 14 weeks or so; it's just that this milestone is a big one for multiples. From now on, they'll be gaining weight rapidly, maturing their lungs, and continuing to develop their muscles with their aqua-calisthenics. By 4 weeks from now, my belly will be the same size as a full term singleton preggo's belly.

I'm still writing out my thank you notes from the shower, but at the same time, I'm thinking about scheduling my portrait session (must do something about this awful hair before then), looking at options for birth announcements, and trolling craigslist for things like cosleepers, strollers, and other accouterments that will be necessary for their first few months. Looking at the ultrasound pics from last week, I can see for the first time how different Zeus and Oden's profiles are, and it's gotten me to imagining what they'll look like, how their temperaments will be... It's all starting to get very real and exciting.

Here's hoping the next 3 months are as good - or better - than the last 6!

all about the boys

I realize I'm getting behind in my posts... Tracy posted about her baby shower she had over the weekend (congrats, T - looks like you had a fabulous time!) and I still haven't posted about mine, which was what - a month ago?? So, in an attempt to stay current, I'm going to do this post just about the boys!

Over the past week, Zeus and Oden have been getting a lot more active - or at least I'm feeling it more. A couple of nights ago, as I was trying to go to sleep, it was like a game of Simon in my belly! Bleep, bloop, bloop, bleep - there were kicks in all four corners! It was pretty funny, actually, until it started to resemble something more akin to Riverdance. I was actually worried for a while that something was wrong, in there, the action was so rapid.

The boys start getting active late in the afternoon, though now I feel them throughout the day. Yesterday evening, I was sitting on the couch and actually saw my belly move with a kick! I think it was Zeus, but they change positions so much, it's fairly impossible to tell.

They're growing really quickly now. Between weeks 24 and 26, they're each going to be gaining a whole pound! It's pretty hard to believe, and even harder to imagine what it's going to be like for the next four months or so... our close friend Amanda is 36 weeks with her twin girls now, and looking at the photos of her belly over the course of 8 months is... wow... astonishing! She looks absolutely fabulous, but those growing babies really do take up a lot of room.

The doctor didn't measure me when I was in on Friday, but when I was in 2 weeks prior, I was measuring about 5 weeks ahead. I'm curious how many cm I am now, for sure.

Here are some of the scans from Friday - at 23w1d. The tech did try to get us some 3D shots, but they boys are so cramped in there, we didn't get any that were really clear. Kind of a shame, since that was probably our only shot of having those (slightly creepy) 3D scans of the boys. It's alright... not too much longer and we can look at them in full color!

two heads are better than one...
look at Zeus' fingers up near his head! Cute!
Pay no attention to their positions...
by the time we got to the doctor's office, they had completely switched.

Poor little Oden - we never get clear scans of his profile.
This one's pretty good, though!

I'm a real boy!
This is Zeus - it's so amazing to see him like this -
really looking like a baby in there, now!

23 weeks!

With only one more week to go until the boundary of viability outside the womb (forgive the cheesy reference - all the others that came up quickly were about abortion!), things are going well! The boys are became more active in the past week... or at least I became more able to perceive their activity! Now I can feel them both moving and kicking and poking at the same time, making it so that sometimes I can have my hands on both sides of the bump and feel them. It's such a reassuring, wonderful sensation. I still feel confident that they'll stay put well into the upper 30-weeks.

Tomorrow I'm meeting again with MFM at OHSU. They're repeating the high level ultrasound first, which should take about 90 minutes. They claim they have a 4D ultrasound, which while I was on the Cape, I was told didn't even exist... so I'm curious to see what we're going to see on the screen. I have a feeling Zeus (A) is still head-down - I think I feel his hands right at the base of my uterus and his feet up top, while Oden (B) is perhaps head-down along my right side. I feel his feet more on the side... or maybe it's his hands. At any rate, I'm curious to see how they're positioned now.

As for me, the past week was more comfortable than the previous. I think I got used to the expanded size - it's now easier to turn over in bed. I am not, however, able to stay on my back for very long anymore. The boys seem to put more pressure on my diaphragm, making me feel pretty breathless. When I lay on my sides, the boy on the bottom frequently pushes out against the pressure beneath him... it's pretty cool. Heartburn continues to be an issue, and I'm getting a new round of nausea. Fortunately, being treated by a very able chiropractor is helping a lot - especially my hips... Thanks Korin!

And now, without further ado: my 23w belly -

sore 'n' grumpy

No, these aren't replacement names for the babies, it's just the day I'm having today. How is it that every 2 or 3 days I feel like a completely different physical being? Oh my, it's just too fast to adjust to! I'm going to start going to the pool this week (in between all the other stuff I have to get done, plus sleeping whenever I possibly can), but for now, I feel awful!

First of all, I'm having a hard time sleeping. I think I've got to get to the store and get some kind of mattress pad, but sleeping on a twin mattress as I am is for the birds... or at the very least for children and very thin adults. My hips get sore after about a half an hour, my arms fall asleep, my ribs (now it's really my ribs) ache incessantly.

When not considering nighttime ailments, it is the progression of the day that literally weighs on me. By the end of the day, I'm out of breath all the time, my ribs are in constant pain, and my back cries out for me to lie down flat... but when I do so, getting back on my feet is a challenge, and then my hips hurt so much it makes me limp. Fun, right? No f*ing wonder I'm grumpy!

On the very bright side, my two boys are bringing me delight with their now-frequent movement. The roll and kick - a few days ago, Laurie got to be the first person to feel them move from the outside (beside me, of course). I have to admit being rather selfish with my hands-on-belly time... it's just so amazing to feel them inside and out, and with all the other challenges this pregnancy has brought, it's something to celebrate and relish.

Tomorrow (Thursday) is my new turn-over day, as the doc here recalculated my due date for 10/2, rather than 10/3. So, I'll get Laurie to take a new side-view photo to acknowledge completing 22 weeks.

popular demand

Look - PHOTOS!

Here you have it - 21w, 3d! Not the "traditional"side-view style photo we've been getting, but we were out and about today with our hosts, and Laurie and Phil, when Laurie captured me, Maria and Swatchy waiting for breakfast.


Finally, here are Zeus and Oden (new gestational names, compliments of Maria!), from their 20 week ultrasound. Alpha put on the better show that day, and we were lucky to capture a really cool still of him with his two wee hands up near his face:


And here's Beta... in a not-so-glamorous profile pic. You probably have to be an ultrasound tech to discern his little face...


Here's the shackteau - the little cabin we're staying in at our friends' house:

I stole this last one from Laurie's camera, so if you see it repeated on her blog, you'll know why!

That's a wrap for tonight - these babies are kicking, now that mama's sitting down, and it's making me have to pee!

Arrived!

I'm in Portland!

There won't be any new pictures in this post, but hey, I've finally broken my Internet silence, so I've got to pace myself.

I'm now 20w2d - a number I really couldn't have ever imagined reaching before. It's amazing to think that in just 16 weeks (plus or minus), I could be meeting my babies! Right now, the belly growth is really starting to accelerate, and I'm having a hard time imagining how big I'll actually be in 4 months! It's getting hard to turn over at night, and when I lie on my back for too long, I get up and am surprised at how sore my hips are! Time to start swimming, I think.

The big announcement, which I'd wanted to make in conjunction with some photos, is that I'm having two sweet boys! That's right, these fraternal twins took the word literally and decided to show up as brothers. I'm excited for them that they'll have each other through their lives, and I'll just have to raise them in the Confucian tradition and train them to take care of their mama when they get older, lol.


I wanted to take a minute and thank my friends for their concerned inquiries about Daniel's family in Chengdu, Sichuan. So far, we've accounted for everyone in Chengdu and in the village (Nanchong County), but we haven't reached Zhang Lin's family yet to hear that she's safe. She's in school up in the mountains, and of course we're hoping for an eventual report of her safety.

We've both been very moved by the events in Sichuan - Daniel's home province and the place I feel most connected to in China. He's actually going to be there for 3 weeks next month, and hopes to be able to help in some of the work there. I do know that Mercy Corps is supporting the relief efforts in Sichuan - here's the link in case you've been wondering how to help.

Finally, Laurie and her friend Phil are making good progress in their cross-country trip. If you didn't know, Laurie's my sister, and she's moving out here, too - she & Phil are driving my car and a bunch of our stuff out for me, since I was too pregnant (and ailing with this stupid gallstone) to drive. You can follow their trip on her blog and soon she'll also be posting on Travels with Swatchy.

last minute

Packing, packing, packing. That's what this pregnant lady has been doing for d-a-y-s now, and today should be the end of it.

Yesterday we turned 17 weeks. It's been a strange week, in that I haven't been feeling the babies move at all... I'm sure it's just because I've got so much on my mind, and so little time to sit quietly listening for them with my body. It doesn't have me worried or anything, since I know this is what it's like for many women at this stage in the game.

Not much else to say this morning, since I've pretty much got to get down to business right away... we'll take some new belly pics on the Cape - our first stop in this moving process.

I'm not going to use this post to say goodbye to Pennsylvania - it's way too early in the morning and I wouldn't do it justice.

still a mystery

Today was my last appointment in PA with Maternal and Fetal Medicine. As long as everything remains calm, I won't be seen again until I'm in Portland in May - about a month from now. I wish we'd gotten do have a more detailed ultrasound today, but I was glad to at least have the brief check from the lame office machine.

The babies are both doing fine - the doc didn't take any measurements today, just checked in to see their hearts beating. She was showing a resident from neonatology around preggo land, so she was very quick and to-the-point with the scan.

Even though I asked, she couldn't see clearly enough to tell me the sex of the babies. Wah! I was totally wishing today was the day, but in the end, all I really wanted to know was that they are healthy and kicking around in there, which they are. I'm still not feeling them regularly - the last time I really felt them for sure was last Wednesday!

So, all is well. Sister and I are packing as much as we can - I'm suffering from some terrible pain in my ribs as they are forced to stretch, and that's kept me from as much moving as is really required right now. I just keep telling myself that somehow this will all come together by the end of the week. I know if my body is experiencing pain or exhaustion, it's my job to heed the message, and that I'm lucky to be free to move about at all, given the multiple risks I've got going on.

I imagine this will probably be the last post until next week - perhaps we'll manage a 17-week photo this weekend, but it's gonna be pretty crazy around here!

After another insomniatic night, I'm officially nackered. Is this practice for sleepless nights to come? I have no idea, but this mama can't do without her sleep these days. Between the energy required to grow these babies and to keep my mind from entering the terrain of doom and gloom, plus go to work and try to have some useful thoughts while there, I've got little to spare.

The apartment is a disaster, laundry is long overdue, and packing, which really needs to be completed by 4/20, is languishing. I think I'll go to bed early tonight, sleep in tomorrow and then make a big push to get the packing reorganized and ready to go. I've decided to ship everything instead of renting the u-haul hitch, and that means I've got to re-pack everything I'd already done, transferring stuff from plastic tubs to cardboard boxes.

So, today marks fifteen weeks. Another week into the second trimester, only 9 more weeks until that blessed 24-week mark of viability outside the womb, and 23 more weeks to my hoped-for 38-week delivery of two healthy babies. 14 was an eventful week - feeling them move is very cool and incredibly reassuring. It's still not all the time, but now that I've felt it, I know there's more to come. I probably also mentioned that I'm still spotting, but I'm hopeful that it'll stop over the weekend, as it's been slowing down a bit. Aside from that, my sister says I'm looking even more pregnant, which I thought was funny, since just this morning I was thinking I look pretty much the same. I'll take her word for it!

What's been surprising about being pregnant is how it has brought me within myself - I find myself wanting to be solo and very quiet. Not at all how I thought I'd feel. Maybe it'll be different after the move is over and I have a sense of what's next. For now, I spend a lot of time with my hands on my belly, trying to stay awake, trying to eat, eat, eat. For tonight, hopefully I will spend my time sleeping peacefully, all the way to morning.

post doc

Whew, what a day! A major milestone occurred this morning at work - I felt the babies moving all morning long! Wow, I wasn't 100% convinced, but this is the second day of this funny little feeling, so I've decided to own it and celebrate! I need a little jubilation in my life, don't you think?

I just got back from MFM and am about to take a nap, but I know some of you have been waiting right along with me to see how today's appointment went, so here you have it:

Babies looked great! They surprised me with an ultrasound and I was completely unprepared- no video this time, and no stills of the babes, either. They were complete fabulous and miraculous as ever, though, moving all about. Even though the ultrasound machine wasn't a good one, we could see their individual vertebrae, their eye sockets, facial profiles, and pelvic bones! Their legs are getting so long, and they were both well-behaved, meaning they did Mama a good one by moving and stretching the whole time. Both are heads-down, which is great, but doesn't mean too much at just (nearly) 15 weeks (14w5d, to be exact).

I didn't have an internal exam today - I was again reassured that the spotting is completely normal, and I only need to report in to them if it changes in color. But the great news is that it seems like it's stopping!!! What relief!

My blood pressure was a stellar, amazing 114/76 - one of my lowest in years. Who would have thought that I'd get pregnant and my BP would go down? Wonderful, miraculous babies, these are. Finally, I only gained 2 pounds, which is perfect. It's still weird to read those big numbers on the scale, as my total weight gain is 18#! Yowza! That's more than a pound for each week of pregnancy, but no worries - that's the aim in a twin pregnancy.

So, the long and short of it is that the mama is doing great, and the babies are as perfect as ever, swimming around like two little otters.

A very happy day indeed.

belly

Go figure, I don't see a huge change between the last pictures and these. The difference in person is that the bottom has pooched out more. I guess we haven't really figured out the best belly pic taking mode yet.

14w and update

Yeah, Baby! Fourteen whole weeks today!

After a crazy busy week, I ended up having the day off today, and took that opportunity to rest, rest, rest. I'm glad for the respite, as the weekend is going to be a whopper. We only have four more weekends before the big bon voyage, and I've got to get a move on!

In clinical news, I finally got call back from the doc today, so here's what we learned:

blood antibodies test: this test came up positive about 3 weeks ago, and we've been trying to get to the bottom of it since. Today's conclusion from the lab director is that, because my blood type is positive (A+, to be specific), and I've never had a baby or a blood transfusion, there's no risk. Still unsatisfyingly vague, but whatever. No risk is all I needed to know.

spotting: since all I've had for the past 5 days is spotting, it looks like there's no present danger. The doctor was pleased at the "progress." She said it pretty much demonstrates that I had a subchorionic hemorrhage. We still agreed that the final decision about whether I drive or fly to Oregon will be made at my appointment on 4/23.

heartburn: Since I can't take Nexium due to a possible side effect of increased fracture (yikes - bad for the girl with OI!), doc suggested I take pepcid or xantac. Hooray! I finally had a good day today, but it's because I'm eating pretty much constantly.

Finally, I made my appointment at OHSU to see MFM when we arrive in Oregon. I'll be *gasp* 22 weeks for my ultrasound, unless I arrive early because I've flown.

fun stuff

Today I was out shopping for new clothes to fit the expanding belly region and as I was leaving the mall, someone asked me if I am expecting a baby! That was a very exciting moment to be sure - the very first time a stranger has asked me if I'm pregnant! Good times, folks, good times.

love/hate

13w5d

I have had heartburn at least 80% of all days for the past 10 weeks, and I'm worn down! I just want to cry in despair - I can't take it any more! But of course I can, and of course, I will.

Pregnancy isn't what I imagined it to be... blissfully rubbing a big wondrous belly. Feeling and watching the baby move. Maybe a touch of discomfort here and there. Clearly, I had an isolated moment in pregnancy planted into my mind as The Experience... and this daily reality is vastly different.

It makes me feel like a wimp, I have to say. The heartburn, the gagging and heaving, the nutritional requirements, the necessary water intake - all of this on top of physical exhaustion and a mind full of the details of a cross-country move - has me wanting to send up the white flag. But surrender to what, exactly? All of this discomfort is going to lead to bringing home two healthy babies, and that is what I've *really* been waiting for all this time. The reality of walking through this pregnancy, though, does have me a bit scared about handling twins on my own... I know that I'll have amazing support and am confident that I will find resources within myself I never knew existed, but yes, I'm scared.

Meanwhile, the spotting started up again - after 3 days of clear sailing, Monday came along and brought back the damned stuff. It's ok - it's mild and not of the type considered dangerous, but now it's 3 days of it, and it's wearing on me... just like the f*ing heartburn. I do believe it's all fine, but that doesn't mean that the occasional memory of pregnancies lost don't come creeping to mind. It just sucks. These kids have got at least 22 more weeks to cook, so they've got to behave (as does my body!) and stay put.

The (paradoxical) comfort through this is that I'm pregnant with two growing fetuses, emphasis on growing. It seems like they must be having a growth spurt because, wow, in the past several days, it seems like my tummy's bigger daily. I haven't had sister take another pic yet - sorry about that - we'll definitely celebrate hitting 14 weeks with a new one. I haven't gained any weight, but my tummy is humongous. The pants I was wearing in the last photo don't even fit any more!

So, that's where I'm at these days: burping, plagued by a burning esophagus, astonished at my belly!

relief & new docs

Ah, Fridays. I like hitting the new mark - it's an awesome feeling to reach another week in the pregnancy. With my past experience of first trimester losses, every week is a gift. Today marks THIRTEEN WEEKS - I think this means I'm officially in the second trimester.

I really debated whether or not to write the scary stuff in this blog. I have found the records kept by other pregnant women, especially those with twins, to be so informative and helpful, so I'm just going to tell it like it is.

Week 12 kicked me to the curb. On Tuesday, I had a very scary bleeding episode, which now, three days later, is resolved. Even knowing as much as I do about normal bleeding during pregnancy, it was a terrible, terrible time. I spent three days on the couch (and doctor's offices), missed those days of work, and finally returned to work today.

I did get to see the twins on ultrasound twice, and they're looking perfect. Twin A's placenta, however, has taken up residence right over my cervix, which is called a complete placenta previa. This early in pregnancy, it's a concern, but not as serious as it would be at the end of pregnancy. The likelihood is that, as my uterus grows, it will lift the placenta off the cervix. This was the only explanation they could come up with for the bleeding.

Because of all this hubbub, I was also (finally) seen by an OB - in fact, I went into the city on Wednesday to meet the high-risk pregnancy team. Fortunately or unfortunately, they are not going to discharge me back to a regular obstetrician, as I have several issues that qualify me as high risk: a multiple pregnancy, a genetic condition called osteogenesis imperfecta (type 1), hypertension, and a history of pelvic fracture (which doesn't appear to be problematic). Shoot, hearing them list this stuff out (and some other things), I actually felt sort of judged for even getting pregnant. I know they didn't mean it that way, but actually, I'm pretty healthy, so it was kind of shocking to be treated as such a serious case.

I was also pretty shocked when the resident sat down to do my intake, and told me that I'd be having a c-section. I think I shocked her back by saying that wasn't really in my plan... Anyway, after talking for a while, they said it was a good thing I was moving to Oregon, because, in her words "they're a little more crunchy out there, and might consider a vaginal delivery." For crying out loud, can you imagine if I was staying here? Not even having the OPTION of a vaginal birth? I mean, I get the risks, and I won't compromise the babies' health, but if the stars align properly, then a regular delivery IS the best option for the health of the babies.

Ok let's move on from that malarkey. The good news this week is that I can now totally feel my uterus! It's SO COOL. The top of it is now right under my belly button, so I expect that my whole belly look will really start to change in the next few weeks.

Next up: 13-week belly pics to be posted this weekend! Woo-hoo!