Four Whole Months

Things are starting to move pretty fast around here - we only have 9 more days left in PA, and there's so much to do. It doesn't help that I'm back at home today, resting after a small but scary bleeding episode last night. Fridays are celebratory because I get to turn over a new week in the pregnancy, but also scary because we're going into the weekend, and that means a visit to the ER if anything changes/happens. I do think everything is fine today - no more bleeding at all - I just let myself get super stressed last night, and that clearly wasn't a good idea.






So, the good news, the great news, is that I'm 16 weeks today - another week to celebrate, another week closer to bringing my two babies home. In the past week, I felt the babies moving more regularly, though still not daily, and on Wednesday, I felt them both moving at the same time. That was a first, and it was so cool to be able to really tell there were two of them moving. I can't wait until it happens again. Mostly, I am feeling them move at work - I think the office chair is bad for my posture, and the way I end up sitting helps me feel the movement better. It's very sweet. I am really excited to feel them more often.

After another insomniatic night, I'm officially nackered. Is this practice for sleepless nights to come? I have no idea, but this mama can't do without her sleep these days. Between the energy required to grow these babies and to keep my mind from entering the terrain of doom and gloom, plus go to work and try to have some useful thoughts while there, I've got little to spare.

The apartment is a disaster, laundry is long overdue, and packing, which really needs to be completed by 4/20, is languishing. I think I'll go to bed early tonight, sleep in tomorrow and then make a big push to get the packing reorganized and ready to go. I've decided to ship everything instead of renting the u-haul hitch, and that means I've got to re-pack everything I'd already done, transferring stuff from plastic tubs to cardboard boxes.

So, today marks fifteen weeks. Another week into the second trimester, only 9 more weeks until that blessed 24-week mark of viability outside the womb, and 23 more weeks to my hoped-for 38-week delivery of two healthy babies. 14 was an eventful week - feeling them move is very cool and incredibly reassuring. It's still not all the time, but now that I've felt it, I know there's more to come. I probably also mentioned that I'm still spotting, but I'm hopeful that it'll stop over the weekend, as it's been slowing down a bit. Aside from that, my sister says I'm looking even more pregnant, which I thought was funny, since just this morning I was thinking I look pretty much the same. I'll take her word for it!

What's been surprising about being pregnant is how it has brought me within myself - I find myself wanting to be solo and very quiet. Not at all how I thought I'd feel. Maybe it'll be different after the move is over and I have a sense of what's next. For now, I spend a lot of time with my hands on my belly, trying to stay awake, trying to eat, eat, eat. For tonight, hopefully I will spend my time sleeping peacefully, all the way to morning.

post doc

Whew, what a day! A major milestone occurred this morning at work - I felt the babies moving all morning long! Wow, I wasn't 100% convinced, but this is the second day of this funny little feeling, so I've decided to own it and celebrate! I need a little jubilation in my life, don't you think?

I just got back from MFM and am about to take a nap, but I know some of you have been waiting right along with me to see how today's appointment went, so here you have it:

Babies looked great! They surprised me with an ultrasound and I was completely unprepared- no video this time, and no stills of the babes, either. They were complete fabulous and miraculous as ever, though, moving all about. Even though the ultrasound machine wasn't a good one, we could see their individual vertebrae, their eye sockets, facial profiles, and pelvic bones! Their legs are getting so long, and they were both well-behaved, meaning they did Mama a good one by moving and stretching the whole time. Both are heads-down, which is great, but doesn't mean too much at just (nearly) 15 weeks (14w5d, to be exact).

I didn't have an internal exam today - I was again reassured that the spotting is completely normal, and I only need to report in to them if it changes in color. But the great news is that it seems like it's stopping!!! What relief!

My blood pressure was a stellar, amazing 114/76 - one of my lowest in years. Who would have thought that I'd get pregnant and my BP would go down? Wonderful, miraculous babies, these are. Finally, I only gained 2 pounds, which is perfect. It's still weird to read those big numbers on the scale, as my total weight gain is 18#! Yowza! That's more than a pound for each week of pregnancy, but no worries - that's the aim in a twin pregnancy.

So, the long and short of it is that the mama is doing great, and the babies are as perfect as ever, swimming around like two little otters.

A very happy day indeed.

belly

Go figure, I don't see a huge change between the last pictures and these. The difference in person is that the bottom has pooched out more. I guess we haven't really figured out the best belly pic taking mode yet.

14w and update

Yeah, Baby! Fourteen whole weeks today!

After a crazy busy week, I ended up having the day off today, and took that opportunity to rest, rest, rest. I'm glad for the respite, as the weekend is going to be a whopper. We only have four more weekends before the big bon voyage, and I've got to get a move on!

In clinical news, I finally got call back from the doc today, so here's what we learned:

blood antibodies test: this test came up positive about 3 weeks ago, and we've been trying to get to the bottom of it since. Today's conclusion from the lab director is that, because my blood type is positive (A+, to be specific), and I've never had a baby or a blood transfusion, there's no risk. Still unsatisfyingly vague, but whatever. No risk is all I needed to know.

spotting: since all I've had for the past 5 days is spotting, it looks like there's no present danger. The doctor was pleased at the "progress." She said it pretty much demonstrates that I had a subchorionic hemorrhage. We still agreed that the final decision about whether I drive or fly to Oregon will be made at my appointment on 4/23.

heartburn: Since I can't take Nexium due to a possible side effect of increased fracture (yikes - bad for the girl with OI!), doc suggested I take pepcid or xantac. Hooray! I finally had a good day today, but it's because I'm eating pretty much constantly.

Finally, I made my appointment at OHSU to see MFM when we arrive in Oregon. I'll be *gasp* 22 weeks for my ultrasound, unless I arrive early because I've flown.

fun stuff

Today I was out shopping for new clothes to fit the expanding belly region and as I was leaving the mall, someone asked me if I am expecting a baby! That was a very exciting moment to be sure - the very first time a stranger has asked me if I'm pregnant! Good times, folks, good times.

love/hate

13w5d

I have had heartburn at least 80% of all days for the past 10 weeks, and I'm worn down! I just want to cry in despair - I can't take it any more! But of course I can, and of course, I will.

Pregnancy isn't what I imagined it to be... blissfully rubbing a big wondrous belly. Feeling and watching the baby move. Maybe a touch of discomfort here and there. Clearly, I had an isolated moment in pregnancy planted into my mind as The Experience... and this daily reality is vastly different.

It makes me feel like a wimp, I have to say. The heartburn, the gagging and heaving, the nutritional requirements, the necessary water intake - all of this on top of physical exhaustion and a mind full of the details of a cross-country move - has me wanting to send up the white flag. But surrender to what, exactly? All of this discomfort is going to lead to bringing home two healthy babies, and that is what I've *really* been waiting for all this time. The reality of walking through this pregnancy, though, does have me a bit scared about handling twins on my own... I know that I'll have amazing support and am confident that I will find resources within myself I never knew existed, but yes, I'm scared.

Meanwhile, the spotting started up again - after 3 days of clear sailing, Monday came along and brought back the damned stuff. It's ok - it's mild and not of the type considered dangerous, but now it's 3 days of it, and it's wearing on me... just like the f*ing heartburn. I do believe it's all fine, but that doesn't mean that the occasional memory of pregnancies lost don't come creeping to mind. It just sucks. These kids have got at least 22 more weeks to cook, so they've got to behave (as does my body!) and stay put.

The (paradoxical) comfort through this is that I'm pregnant with two growing fetuses, emphasis on growing. It seems like they must be having a growth spurt because, wow, in the past several days, it seems like my tummy's bigger daily. I haven't had sister take another pic yet - sorry about that - we'll definitely celebrate hitting 14 weeks with a new one. I haven't gained any weight, but my tummy is humongous. The pants I was wearing in the last photo don't even fit any more!

So, that's where I'm at these days: burping, plagued by a burning esophagus, astonished at my belly!