Three Months

Dear Shoghi and Maxwell,

Today you are three months old. I suppose for the rest of our lives, I will be saying "I can't believe you are __ old," but really, how is it possible that you were born so long ago already? How could you have gone from those two fragile, tiny bodies to these two robust, vibrant beings?

Shoghi, right after birth

touching Shoghi for the first time

Maxwell, right after his birth

touching Maxwell for the first time

To say that I love you doesn't begin to capture this experience. Your presence has awed and humbled me. Many times a day, I will have you in my arms and wonder at the fact that you are my sons. Your joy and your pain twist my heart and in those moments of sensing your experience in this world, I know I will forever be a servant to your needs - it is a command stamped into the very fiber of my being. You are the essence of beauty; you are the bringers of delight.

Shoghi, from the moment you were born, you have captured our hearts. Many of the people who love you observe that you have a wisdom to you, a kind of seriousnessthat radiates from your face and hands. You are so expressive with your hands, your Popi wonders if you will be a piano player, while the rest of us simply sit entranced by the gentle dances you perform with your long, delicate fingers. You have the look of an older child - since you were tiny, I could look at you and see the boy you will grow into, gentle and mischevious and sweet. For now, though, you are my baby, with your indominable, insistent way that makes us all snap to attention.

Shoghi.
photo by Amy Schmeets

Maxwell, you are the ultimate love. You have many nicknames, but the one I think of right now is one we don't use often: Maxwise... you have the essence of a faithful companion and often we compare you to Frodo's loyal Samwise. Your spirit seems to be infused with a tender earnestness and patience that make you both vulnerable and a joy to be around. Physically, you are the embodiment of BABY - your chubby, rosy cheeks and your perfect rosebud lips fill me with delight. Your clear, bright eyes have engaged and mesmerised us all from the day you were born. You coo and gaze at the world and any day now your beautiful face is going to burst into a huge grin, a moment I am waiting for with every fiber of my being. Many have said that you exude a spirit of love, and I have to agree. As you grow older, your charm will propel you outward, but I fear you will also have to learn to protect yourself - your tender loving, eager heart may make you susceptible to being put aside in favor if those more demanding. Whatever the case, I'll be here to guide and protect you, to help you find the powers you need to let your gorgeous spirit emerge and shine.

Maxwell.
photo by Amy Schmeets

Over the last month, you have both woken up to the world. You spend more and more time looking around and meeting our gazes with your eyes. You watch shadows and movement, and you now make your sweet baby sounds that cause my heart to soar. As your bodies grow bigger and stronger, you have also been able to endure delays in eating and sleep more graciously, which makes life easier and happier for us all.


To say I look forward to watching you discover the world is as inadequate a statement as any ever made - I think it will be pure magic. I love you each for who you are, and together for the family we have become.

love,
your mama