berry fever

Just spontaneously yesterday morning, I packed us up and drove out to Sauvie Island Farm, the place we picked marion berries last summer. I was surprised and delighted that both boys occupied themselves: Max headed straight for the raspberry canes, and Shoghi played in the wagon the whole time. We three had a lot of fun, and I picked 14 pounds of berries! I also got one of those wonderful confidence boosters, having a successful outing alone with my sons that didn't involve restraining them in one way or another.

Success!

market day

Today was my second time at the Farmer's Market here in our neighborhood (I know, right? Neighborhood farmer's market? AWESOME.). It was another gorgeous day, and while it was a really long day, it was fun, and much more successful than my first time. I actually sold most of my cotton produce and bulk food bags! I also had Laurie's cards, which people are just gaga over, and it's always more fun to talk up my sister than myself.

I will say, though, for many reasons, it was a very grueling day. Shoghi's got something going on... teeth, or allergies, or maybe bronchitis... he just isn't giving me a clear read on it except that he's going on 4 days of being overtired. He's had 3 nights of terrible and long night wakings, doing his typical loud wailing crying, pushing me, and back arching for 2-3 hours in the middle of the night. Today he also displayed this behavior for the first time during the day. It's really hard to know how to respond to this very physical communication that I don't understand. I hope the cycle has already broken, and that tonight he will sleep well. I really need more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep. I need to not be wrestling my 30-pound toddler in the middle of the night.

But now that this farmer's market is done, I can finally (please, children) do some major and desperately needed cleaning around here, and get the house ready for our departure next weekend. I'm bringing my work with me, in more ways than one. I hope to work on more produce bags for our next four market dates, as well as re-write my resume, finish my grad school application, and generally (hopefully) gain some clarity about what the hell I'm doing with my life in the three weeks we're with my parents. Tall (and probably unrealistic) order. I am so, so ready to have this break.

request

Dear Tomorrow,

Please be kind to me. I have worked so hard, and with such loving support to get here, and I really need your merciful favors.

With gratitude,
Celeste

better than ice cream

loving sunshine here in the good state of oregon this week.

very challenged by my own recent insomnia compounded by long, emotional night wakings of both boys (more teeth for s? or is it allergies? poor boy's lower lids are just raw.)

enjoying watching the boys with our growing garden, learning how real food grows, hearing them say "pick it" and "eat mint" and "bessies" (berries). hearing the crunch as then eat fresh snap peas, still warm from the sun.

cannot wait to step onto that plane headed for boston on 7/4 and leave some of it behind for a few weeks.

can. not. wait.

dry run

If there was a picture-of-the-day for today, it would be of me and the boys, taken this morning at the airport. We went there for a dry run, to introduce them to the airport and show them some planes before our trip on 7/4. It was actually quite fun - they loved walking on the moving walkways and escalator, and looked out the big windows at the planes outside. It was a great outing for $3.

But the picture would capture one of the moments there - it would show me, sitting on the floor just in front of the security gates, laughing and sweating, holding one trying-to-run-away toddler down with my leg while I struggled to get the other one, kicking, crying and arching his back, into the Ergo on my back.

Guess what I learned from this practice? You guessed it: toddlers must remain in stroller until we have reached the gate. Whew! We drew quite some amused glances (and a couple of helping hands).

:)

solstice

a late afternoon nap on mama's back

Sometimes we get so caught up in the largeness, the constant pull to now-ness, of these children, that we forget just how small they are.

a trip to Laurelhurst Park involved much tree touching and looking up, up, up.

On Monday, we took our annual trip to the beach for Laurie's birthday. It also happened to be Solstice. We were blessed with a mostly rain-free day, and the boys got to re-discover the sand, the surf, the waves. Having grown up in the salty air of Cape Cod, returns to the coastal waters are refreshing for my very soul. It was a good day.

Nevertheless, I am willing...

I dare to believe I am headed in the right direction.

I dare to believe our family life meets all of our needs.

I dare to believe I will meet my soul mate after all.

I dare to believe that being twins is the perfect thing for my sons, and that it will (and does) bring them happiness.

I dare to believe that I will be able to visit my East Coast family 2-3 times a year from now on.

I dare to believe I will find a career that truly channels my talents and my joy.

I dare to believe I can do this, and do it with excellence.

I dare to believe that I am a happy person.

I dare to believe that I will be loved for who I am, rather than for who you wish I would be.


Mondo Beyondo exercise, taken from my amazing friends Miriam and Korin. What do you dare?