Tuesday, November 25, 2008

untitled

alright, alright. what can i say? after my flurry of posts earlier this month, i've fallen silent. i'm rather overwhelmed, truth be told. i had the thought to tell you about sleep, more about our adventures in nursing, and even a day-in-the-life post.... i just don't think it's going to happen any time soon.

don't get me wrong - the boys are fabulous. healthy, beautiful, perfect little babies - ptew, ptew, knock wood, and all that. but damn if it isn't a lot of freaking work to care for them. my days go in increments of 15 minutes, pretty much. one 15 minute set will be easy, and the very next might have me broken out into a sweat or ready to cry. even with years of childcare behind me, i admit it - i was not prepared for life with two infants.

these days, i often think of this prayer, and how much it applies to every breath, every action, every word of my current experience. maybe the constant act of raising children is meant to teach us deeper aspects of servitude, to carve out places of selflessness in our spirits.
Oh, God, make me a hollow reed, from which the pith of self hath been blown so that I may become as a clear channel through which Thy Love may flow to others. I have left behind me impatience and discontent.... The task of the day suffices for me, and all the future is Thine. Thou changest weakness to strength, doubt to faith, perplexity to understanding.... With eagerness and patience, with hope and gratitude, I bend to the task of the hour, lest when Thy call comes I be found unready.
all heaviness aside, there are lots of moments to enjoy. i have a lot of help, and the boys are becoming more alert, more interactive. max is on the verge of laughter. i love them with a depth i cannot even describe.

here are some photos of recent times:

max has started sucking his thumb,
which might just be one of the cutest things ever

ah, the elusive shoghi smile

oh, precious sleep

5 comments:

  1. I went looking for the full text of the prayer and found this:
    http://www.bahai-library.com/uhj/hollow.reed.html

    Even though it's an amalgamation, still very powerful words.

    ReplyDelete
  2. really the perfect post- here here! you're a strong and delightful mama, didn't you know?, and these pictures really are so sweet.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. "but damn if it isn't a lot of freaking work to care for them. my days go in increments of 15 minutes, pretty much"

    TOO TRUE!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeah That to Shukr. It does get easier ladies, I promise. I can barely keep up with Ben he's so busy getting into everything. But he keeps himself occupied! And darn if Claire isn't crawling (slowly) now, too. Babies babies everywhere.

    Mind if I copy that and put it on my blog? I've been feeling just like that lately.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Celeste - I feel overwhelmed too! And often guilty that I can't give each baby more of my time and effort...

    Hang in there, mama! Take care of yourself when you have a chance.

    ReplyDelete