This afternoon I was listening to a little Louise Hay. Rather, a little Louise Hay was playing in the background as I busied myself with other things. Just for a moment, though, my attention turned and I heard her say: "I love and approve of you just as you are" and this made me think of my two gem-like sons, so different from each other, so uniquely faceted, and so dazzling to my eyes.
I never did write their one year birthday post. It seems that these major milestones come upon me, and I think "I must write about that" and then the significance swallows me up and nothing is written. The more of them pile up, the greater the mountain of things to reflect upon grows in my mind, and soon these moments of beauty become a chore to write about. I never wrote about their birth, never really told you all about our nursing experience in its fullness (and how it came to a close when they were 11 months old), and haven't kept up with the sleeping updates.. all of which continue to have effects on us to this day! Knowing how I tend to forget details, I'm disappointed that I haven't written these things down.
So, when I heard that affirmation, my mind turned here, to tell my boys how I do love and approve of them, now... in the moment... for everything they are - the things that make my heart sing, and the things that challenge me to my core. I love being a mama to them - I always knew I would... and sometimes, in the quiet moments before bed, or late in the night when one of them is up, I whisper "thank you for being my baby" in their little ears, and yes, I am overcome by a wave of the deepest gratitude. It is a prayer to bypass even their bodies, and speak directly to their souls... it is a prayer of thanks to God or the Universe or whatever Name you use for that creative, animating Force that unites us all.
Here's just a little happy glimmer of what is going on for the boys these days:
At 14 months, Shoghi, you are a little wonder. You are so tall - if we don't adjust your age for prematurity, you are in the 90th percentile for height and weight, which is crazy for a family of short people! Your feet are so big, they remind everyone of hobbit feet - you're wearing shoes that Ruby wore when she was 2! You have many new words that are trying to form - you make a funny sound for "juice" and another for "cheese" which sounds like a "shhh" sound in your cheek. It seems like learning to talk for you is going to be as much a physical experience as everything else! You are still learning to walk, you love the slide and all the other playground equipment, and continue to experience the world most through exploring with your body. You rarely get hurt - it seems like you just accept that bumps and bruises are part of the deal of loving to use your body so much.
Max, my little social butterfly, we all take such delight in your language skills! Where your brother is towering physically, you are soaring with your words. I'm guessing you probably have between 40 and 50 words now, which is really quite remarkable and fun! Mama, Auntie, Ruby, Memmae, Popi, and Emilia are people you will name; cheese, fish, cookie, cracker, juice, bottle, apricot, pear, peach, toast, apple, berry, yogurt, and puffs are some of the foods you ask for; sounds like moo, baa, ooo-ooo (what a monkey says), meow, woof, hoo-hoo, neigh, peep, tweet, shhh, ding, gobble, choo-choo, beep, roar, quack, and bawk animate your days; and words like car, belly button, nose, teeth, gorilla, moon, chair, bird, shoes, puppy, bunny, cold, rain, wind, book, ball, tree, walk, and more help you to tell us what you want. It's really quite an amazing time, listening to you learn to tell us what you see, what you want, and how you feel. All the while, you exercise your mouth and tongue, making the funniest sounds like "gobbledy-gobbledy" and "weddygo-weddygo."
Now your Mama must acknowledge her own state of weariness and sign off. Until next time...