Thursday, August 21, 2008

34 weeks

Shoghi on left, Maxwell on right

Gestational age, that is. Today marks 34 weeks of life, and tomorrow marks two weeks since my beautiful boys were born.

Today, they are both at least a half a pound heavier than their birth weight, and continue to thrive as expected. They're heartbreakingly dear to me, and it just kills me to leave them every day. After speaking with the doctor today, it's clear that the plan remains the same as it was when they were first born: they will probably stay in the hospital until about 36 weeks gestational age. A terrible thought for their poor mama.

You might think that after all I went through to keep the boys on board for 4 extra weeks, combined with their exceptional health status, I'd just be filled with gratitude and patience, and happily go along with this plan... but honestly, though I am of course very, very grateful for this set of circumstances, it is one of the most painful things I've endured to leave my sweet boys in the hospital day after day. I worry about them when I'm not there, and worry about whether our separation during this sacred time that's supposed to be our time to bond with each other will impact our relationship long term. It might not be the most rational thought, but it haunts me and fills me with deep sadness.

Here, in lieu of photos of my own, are some blog posts that will melt your heart, featuring of course, dear Shoghi and darling Maxwell. (if you're the weepy type, make sure to grab a tissue or two)

And since I'm finishing this post on their second week birth day, I send my most profoundly loving and tender thoughts their way on this clear, bright morning. Love doesn't even describe how I feel for you, my sweet, beautiful boys.

Laurie's blog: back to work

Korin's blog: dear universe

Laurie's blog: nice to meet you

Maxwell, last Friday, celebrating one week


  1. I'm sure everything you are feeling is very normal, and I won't try to minimize a single thought. I'm glad your boys are doing so well, and look forward to the day you can bring them home with you for good.


  2. Yay Max & Shoghi! Go little babies!

  3. My preemie twins were in the nicu, is so hard. I remember someone said to me, "just enjoy this time and sleep while you can." HUH!?!?!? While my babies are in the hospital and I'm up at all hours worrying about them and pumping?? It was only 2 weeks, but it seemed like forever. You will get through it. You will bring them home. Just hang in there.