Friday, June 12, 2009

we get by with a little help

My experience of infertility over the course of 15 years and two marriages is no secret. I started posting on in the ttc (trying to conceive) forums way back in early 2004, and found there a community of amazing women seeking to fulfill their dreams of family. Many of them ended up falling into the range of "normal" - conceiving within a year of beginning to try. Many others ended up taking paths that required a great deal of sacrifice, laying their bodies and finances and emotions on the line for months and years on end. Most of us have ended up with at least one child, while some found that they began to resonate more with life without children or simply had to move on from the very draining process of long-term ttc.

The best part of the story of those days of connecting with the "mdc" mamas is that it resulted in some tremendous friendships. Some people have found these incredible connections through the blogging world, and certainly it was because of my participation there that I began blogging back in 2004. Five years later, the core group of women who found ourselves supporting, celebrating, grieving and waiting with each other is still connected. I see comments here from several old friends that I don't otherwise connect with, I get to follow the blogs of some others, and a handful of these special friends remain people I consider the inner circle of the people in my life. I find constant amazement in the fact that in this online world that would at first pass seem rather annonymous, I have gained some of the best friends of my life.

One of these friends is mentioned here often. I connected with Korin at the very end of her IVF cycle back in those early days on mdc. She became mercifully pregnant with a child who has added sparkle and wonder to our lives for the past three years. Ruby is as much an older sister the boys will likely ever have, and they adore her.

Korin and Ruby

As you know, Korin is the friend who, when I said I was considering leaving my marriage and pursuing getting pregnant on my own said: "Do it. Move out here to Oregon, stay with me and my family, and live the life you are longing for." She is the kind of person who does this, who makes tremendous sacrifice and gives wholly of herself for her friends, on a regular basis. She, Ryan, and Ruby not only shared their home with me while I was pregnant, they sheltered me and my twins for months after their birth, opening a space for us to become a family. The ways and extent of her support is truly indescribable.

Korin, me, and Laurie, in the moments before my c-section.
Korin was the person who sat by my head for the entire surgery, coaching me, crying with me, and sharing the moment of my children's births along with my sister.

Korin doing kangaroo care in the NICU with Shoghi.

Korin and Ryan have been trying for another child for about six months. You can read about that journey on Korin's blog here. Right now the important point is that they are at a point where they have had to decide to do another fresh IVF cycle, a costly, invasive, emotionally and physically intense series of procedures that we all pray will result in another child (or two!). I am happy and humbled to say that another online friend has started a fundraiser, with the hopes of raising the majority of the money this amazing couple will need to pursue adding another child to their family.

If you are a knitter, or need a fabulous gift for a knitter friend, please consider joining us in supporting Korin and her family. Lousli is conducting a raffle with fabulous prizes, including several sets of my sister Laurie's knit kitty hand-printed cards. Lousli's etsy shop is also donating all profits this month to the cause.

hand-dyed yarn from Lesley's shop

knit kitty cards

The greatest good of this blogging community is our ability to make connections and support each other in an increasingly fast and disconnected world. I hope you'll help me pay it forward and join in. Just think, you could be a part of creation, part of the fulfillment of a dream. Every time that future baby smiles, you will have been a part of a sacred moment.

1 comment:

  1. I am humbled to know you and honored to share this journey of life with you by my side (and in my neighborhood!)